Mental Health

May 24, 2022 | Blog

Healing From Things We Don’t Talk About

Our minds and health are literally our greatest assets. If you don’t have your health, then your quality of life can suffer. Now that mental health is at the forefront of society in the wake of the pandemic, social injustices, and all the other things that are reshaping our culture as we know it, what I see missing are the things we DON’T talk about. There’s a saying that “everyone has skeletons in their closet”. And while that might be so, as no one is perfect and we ALL make mistakes, the mental health question that remains is how do the people who are haunted by the past get help with the issues that we don’t talk about? The issues that I’m talking about are the ones that are uncomfortable to hear about, when all you can do is listen and shake your head. The issues usually stem from childhood or young adult trauma, and include, but are not limited to, childhood rape, incest, sexual abuse from a friend or family member, loss, death, abandonment, narcissism, dysfunctional family units, hunger, homelessness, and the list goes on and on. There are people everywhere in life that are now adults and still trying to move through life as if they are fine, perfect, flawless in their execution of daily routines, and still struggling in their minds because they are still haunted by the past. The past brings flashes of memories and feelings that happened long ago. The problem lies when the person can’t process or “get past” those memories or feelings in their head. They don’t know how to deal with the issues and forgiveness is not even fathomable much less definable. These are the people who suffer from depression and anxiety, and you might not even recognize that they do. Dr. Margaret Rutherford of Fayetteville, AR wrote a book recently called Perfectly Hidden Depression. (You can find her book on Amazon, Walmart, or where ever you buy your favorite reading material.) Dr. Rutherford is a psychologist and the host of The SelfWork Podcast and And although this is not an ad, what it does point to is the answer to the above question – therapy. Therapy can be a confusing term for some. A lot of questions come with the word therapy: What kind of therapy does a person need? Who provides that kind of service? Do I need a referral to find a therapist? Do they accept insurance? How much does therapy cost? Can I do therapy online with a psychologist or other provider who specializes in these areas? Are there therapists in my area locally? Do I have to go lie on someone’s couch and pour out my entire childhood to a stranger? What’s the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist? And although I don’t have the answers to all of those questions, what I can suggest is starting small. If you are experiencing any of the above problems in your head (or know of someone who is), and can’t talk to anyone about them, try starting somewhere to get help. In the world of the internet, it’s fairly easy to find psychologists online and see if they have written any books on topics such as these. For women, it’s sometimes easier to believe or feel empowered by another women who has expertise in the area of concern. Buy a book, read a blog, go see your primary care provider and inquire about therapists they would recommend or can refer you to. Living with the trauma of the past can truly be debilitating for some people. It turns them into introverts, creates anti-social behaviors, and leads to severe depression and suicides. People die of depression every day. It’s not only a statistic, it’s a fact. That’s why it’s so important to reach out to friends and family. It’s ok to say “Are you okay?” and be prepared to really listen. You might be surprised at the answer you get.

“Even in the darkest of times, there is still the possibility of joy.” – Stana Katic, Castle